My RSS Feeds
Hitting The Links
This might only be funny if you've seen the movies discussed. Lord knows I have, and it had me in tears at my desk. It's Cracked's "The Five Biggest Mismatches In Movie Fight History."
This was just brought to my attention, and really made my day. Brandon, whoever you are, thank you so much for that. Be sure to explore the site as well, it's an excellent music blog.
This site is the best. It is "a movie trivia site that focuses exclusively on movie stars and the roles they turned down, auditioned for, got fired from, or simply didn't get." You can search by movie or actor, and I guarantee you'll get addicted.
I just started exploring, but so far these are my favorites:
Steve Buscemi tested to play Bruce Banner in The Hulk!
Now that's Incredible! Steve Buscemi? Jennifer Connelly could beat up Steve Buscemi!
Christopher Walken was considered for the role of Han Solo in Star Wars!
For starters, I refuse to believe Christopher Walken has turned down any movie role, ever. He was in The Country Bears, for God's sake.
The thought of him simply saying the word "Wookie" makes me laugh out loud and wonder what might have been.
Nicolas Cage, Jim Carrey, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Michael Keaton, Mike Myers, Bill Murray, Leslie Nielsen, Adam Sandler, Will Smith, Patrick Stewart, Ben Stiller, Christopher Walken, and Robin Williams were all considered to play Willy Wonka in the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Brad Pitt was turned down for the role, and Marilyn Manson was Tim Burton's first choice, but had to turn it down due to scheduling conflicts (which probably involved raping a chicken while wearing a suit made of labias).
Also, at one time Martin Scorsese was attached to direct, with Robert DeNiro as Wonka! How awesome would that have been?
WONKA VOICE OVER: I had a fucking river made of chocolate flowing through my living room. I had a sugar bowl filled with Sweet Tarts next to the bed. Anything I wanted was a call to an Oompa Loompa away. Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. Today I ordered a gingerbread house and I got four fucking graham crackers and a gumdrop. I'm a nobody. I get to live the rest of my life as a candy maker.
That Goodfellas/Wonka mashup is the funniest thing you've written, and
that's saying a LOT. Brilliant. Dunno if I'm your first, but know you've
got at least one fan in the UK!
Pat - have you seen this before? It was part of what was probably the
single greatest SNL episode of the late-90's era, with Kevin Spacey as
host. 1997 or so, when the Star Wars Special Editions were out in
theaters. They did spots throughout the show of mock "Star Wars Screen
Tests." Spacey, as Walken, does exactly what you describe:
I think that link I just posted might be bad. Try this one instead:
Andrew,
The Walken thing wasn't news (partially on account of that SNL skit, yes),
but that other shit...hoboy.
Patrick,thanks for the link to my site. I really enjoy your blog.
But... wait, wasn't the whole point of the Hulk that his alter-ego was a
skinny dweeb? So Steve Buscemi should have been perfect, no? I mean, I
didn't read a lot of Hulk comics as a kid, but I think I'm summing up every
Hulk book ever written, as follows:
Brandon,
"Raping a chicken while wearing a suit made of labias."