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Diggers, Shooters, Swimmers, and Spartans
300 (C)
If you saw the trailer for 300, you saw 300. It's shirtless guys killing each other and screaming. There's absolutely nothing to it. It looks cool, there is some quality nudity, I wasn't totally bored, but…eh. Seeing Dominic West in this just made me wish I was watching The Wire. My favorite response to this movie is these people in an uproar about how historically inaccurate it is. THE MOVIE HAS MONSTERS IN IT, YOU IDIOTS! MONSTERS! HISTORICAL ACCURACY ISN'T REALLY AN ISSUE!
AGAIN…MONSTERS!
These are the people who watch King Kong and gripe that there weren't giant gorillas in 1930's Manhattan.
DIGGERS (C+)
Set in the 1970's for no reason except that it allows the cast to wear mustaches, Diggers is a very low-key (almost too low-key, to be honest) coming-of-middle-age flick that isn't really all that different from the countless movies out there on the subject. It has a solid cast, solid performances, a solid script -- but have you ever used the word "solid" when talking about a movie you loved? I saw this two weeks ago, and I don't really remember a thing about it. I was interested in Diggers because it was written by Ken Marino, formerly of The State and Wet Hot American Summer. If you enter expecting anything resembling that style of humor, you'll be sorely disappointed. Marino gives a good, largely dramatic performance in it, and Paul Rudd is good too. The supporting cast -- Lauren Ambrose, Maura Tierney, Ron Eldard, and Studio 60's Sarah Paulson (proving she can be annoying in more than one medium) gives the whole thing a very made-for-tv feeling. Others must have felt the same, it's being released on DVD the same day it opens in theaters.
PRIDE (C+)
Since I'm sure the dull title isn't ringing a bell, Pride is the one about the swim team that looks exactly like Remember the Titans, Glory Road, etc. Ragtag bunch of kids with no future find a real love for a sport, a stern but fair coach takes them on and turns their lives around -- zzzzz. Terrence Howard is great as the coach, Bernie Mac steals the show as his assistant, and Tom Arnold is, believe it or not, absolutely awesome in a tiny role. He has a scene where he dresses Howard down that is just plain terrific acting. Pride doesn't do these performances justice, though. It's not bad, it just doesn't attempt to shake up the formula. At all. And swimming is not an exciting sport, no matter how you shoot it. Would anyone ever voluntarily go to a swim meet? The movie looks great, the soundtrack is good, the acting is excellent, but there's no real reason not to just catch this on cable.
SHOOTER (D+)
When did Danny Glover become the most boring actor in the world? Every movie I've seen him in over the past few years, he barely opens his mouth and spends the whole movie visibly pouting. When most actors get cast in a crappy flick, they try to transcend it. Glover makes sure you know he doesn't want to be there. In Shooter, he might as well be wearing a shirt that says "I was in The Color Purple, damn it!" Pretty much the entire cast of this snoozefest is on the same auto-pilot, except for Ned Beatty, who hams it up big time as a Senator. Everyone else just grunts and whispers.
Shooter is a deeply stupid movie. It brings up political issues it is nowhere near intelligent enough to deal with, so…it just doesn't. They just sit there. It's like if Jon Stewart went on TV every night and said "Boy, Bush sucks, huh?" and then stared at the screen for 29 minutes. If you're making an action movie this moronic, just make it a pure action movie! If Schwarzenegger had done this back in the 80's, I can guarantee it would have had a sense of humor and I can certainly guarantee it would have been pretty sweet. This movie has no right to be so serious, so bland, so completely dull. One bright spot is the absolutely gorgeous Kate Mara, who unfortunately has a "female in jeopardy" role underdeveloped even by crappy action movie standards. Shooter sucks.
By the way, Chipotle lovers. It's back baby!
Tom Arnold has the capacity to be pretty incredible, or at very least
interesting. He didn't prove it so much in movies like SOUL PLANE, but he
definitely DID prove it in movies like the Steve Buscemi directorial
feature ANIMAL FACTORY where he plays the tough prison dude with sharp
muttonchops and tattoos who is renown for shivving people.
Pat your comment about 300 having monsters in it reminds me of a time where
kastner and I were watching Lord of the Rings. At one point in the movie
Orlando Bloom stabs a monster in the throat, pulls it out, then shoots
another monster. To which Kastner replies.
Incredible! Lack of posting in general lately and then three (?) movie
posts in a row!!! Come on, Pat... More Life Stories! Don't leave us
hanging! I need to know... more!
Rob,
I agree about Sarah Paulson being mostly annoying, but she was phenomenal
in a small role on Deadwood. That's where I first saw her so I had high
expectations. The one-third of a Studio 60 episode I watched before killing
myself from boredom and then coming back as a zombie was disappointing, to
say the least.
In my defense, I don't know what I'm talking about half the time. But I
stand by the comment. That shot always annoyed me, but the worst thing
about those movies is the 10 endings to Return of the King. That was
bullshit.
Your tag says
Alanna,
I like the idea that nerdy dudes go around looking for Wizards to blow.
"God damn it, I'm not a Wizard, I'm Rip Van Winkle!"