Master Cleanse, Day Seven

Honestly, no problems of any kind. No hunger, no diminished energy, no aches or pains or pants-crapping. My guard is up though, because I have read that Days 2, 3, and 7 are the most difficult to get through. So far, I feel like a million bucks, but maybe something is on the way.

The comments on these posts have been almost entirely against the cleanse. On yesterday's post, smooth folk-rock sensation James Taylor commented that I am "starting to sound a little like a Scientologist." Readers, I can assure you that even though I now reside in Los Angeles, I never have and never will so much as dabble in Scientology.

I think the reason so many of you are against the cleanse is because your brains are being clogged by harmful prescription drugs meant to keep you in a state of powerlessness and fear. You're all just so glib!

And for those of you who joke about the religion, where will you be when Lord Xenu makes his triumphant return from his celestial plane and slaughters your children? As he rides into your town on a majestic sabretooth tiger, doling out firebombs of justice, oblivious to the lamentations of your women -- will you think twice about mocking my -- ahem -- their religion?

tags: master cleanse  diet  scientology  

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