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Patrick Walsh

I like to move it. Move it.

Best of The Blog



One Angry Man: My Jury Duty Experience

Thursday, 24 April 2008 7:08 P GMT-05
In which I share my jury duty adventures.

Alan Freakin' Alda

Tuesday, 2 October 2007 3:20 A GMT-05
In which I premiere my very first online short: "Alan Freakin' Alda."

Owen Wilson's Suicide Attempt: A Sizzling Us Weekly Exxxclusive!!!

Wednesday, 5 September 2007 2:19 A GMT-05
In which Us Weekly reports on the sad news of Owen Wilson's suicide attempt.

Things I Have Seen at the Hollywood El Pollo Loco

Monday, 16 July 2007 3:13 A GMT-05
In which I try to recreate the magical experience that is eating at the Hollywood El Pollo Loco.

May 24th, 2004: The Worst Date Of All Time, Part 2

Wednesday, 9 May 2007 7:18 P GMT-05
In which I bring you the sickening conclusion to "The Worst Date of All Time."

May 24th, 2004: The Worst Date of All Time, Part One

Sunday, 6 May 2007 7:18 P GMT-05
In which I bring you Part One of the saga known as "The Worst Date of All Time."

The Whole Eleven Yards

Tuesday, 3 April 2007 2:06 A GMT-05
In which I overhear a conversation between Hollywood heavyweights Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollack.

Patrick Walsh: St. Patrick's Day 2004

Sunday, 25 March 2007 7:59 P GMT-05
In which another holiday bulletin board finds me in hot water.

Forget It Jake...It's Koreatown

Thursday, 25 January 2007 7:21 P GMT-05
In which I share my experiences at a "Booking Club."

Porn Again

Thursday, 18 January 2007 3:09 A GMT-05
In which I share some random musings on pornography.

Fuck'd

Tuesday, 16 January 2007 10:38 P GMT-05
In which I share tales from a disastrous weekend back home.

Adventures In Baby Batter

Tuesday, 12 December 2006 12:00 A GMT-05
In which I recount my first sperm donation.

Semen Like A Good Idea

Monday, 11 December 2006 12:00 A GMT-05
In which I share my recent decision to become a sperm donor.

Rub U The Right Way

Monday, 30 October 2006 3:18 P GMT-05
In which I discuss a fantastically awkard experience: The Workplace Massage.

Writing Sample: "Grey's Anatomy"

Friday, 27 October 2006 4:22 P GMT-05
In which I offer a writing sample for the producers of "Grey's Anatomy."

The Biggest Douchebag I've Ever Known

Wednesday, 19 July 2006 11:59 P GMT-05
In which I discuss a man who puts the douchebag back in "douchebag."

Back And Nasty As Ever!

Sunday, 30 April 2006 8:31 P GMT-05
In which I decide to continue doing the blog despite my mother's knowledge of its existence, and to keep on being as nasty as I want to be.

Pissin' Impossible

Thursday, 23 February 2006 4:36 P GMT-05
In which I discuss the high-stakes world of urine testing.

Slip N' Died

Thursday, 9 February 2006 4:51 P GMT-05
In which I discuss a late night brush with death.

Making Relationships Work

Thursday, 19 January 2006 4:26 P GMT-05
In which I compare relationships to jobs.

Slow Jamz

Tuesday, 22 November 2005 11:15 P GMT-05
In which I discuss how to make a good "fucking" mix for your Ipod.

Gym Dandy!

Tuesday, 25 October 2005 11:17 P GMT-05
In which I discuss my "fitness experience."

Diamond In The Rough

Friday, 19 August 2005 10:44 P GMT-05
In which I review the assstomping Neil Diamond concert I saw last night. Assstomping in this case means "excellent."

Fecal Matters

Tuesday, 9 August 2005 11:26 P GMT-05
In which I discuss the bizarre shame that comes with going #2 in public.

How the Today Show Ruined My Morning

Friday, 5 August 2005 11:36 P GMT-05
In which I discuss how the "Today Show" ruined my morning.