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Patrick Walsh: Three Years of American Magic
I nearly forgot -- today is the three year anniversary of this here website. Three years! I've been doing this shit for one ninth of my life! I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. To be totally honest, I've thought a lot about shutting this bad boy down lately, but then I get a rush of comments and it keeps me going. (Moral = if you want the site to keep going, keep -- or start -- commenting!) Thank you for those. A sincere thank you for your continued support of the site, even when I'm gone for ludicrous periods of time.
I started this blog 156 weeks ago -- on July 22nd, 2005. It was a terrible time for me. I had just graduated from the NBC Page Program and found myself in debt and without prospects in New York City, staring at a cubicle, in a miserable temp job. My family was falling apart. I was in a dark place, and started the website to have an outlet for my rapidly escalating anger and frustration. I hope I found a way to make those times amusing for you readers, but revisiting some of those entries today, I was a little frightened remembering how hopeless and angry I felt at the time. On July 22nd, 2006, I wasn't doing much better. I had just moved to Los Angeles, and my life had hit a real shit spiral. I was temping so much I became an expert on the subject, and I was routinely dealing with people like The Biggest Douchebag I Have Ever Known, who would later threaten to sue me. On July 22nd, 2007, I was starting to better accept the fisting life was giving me, but I was temping at State Farm Insurance for God's sake. The only things really going on in my life were eating at the Hollywood El Pollo Loco, dealing with my forced subscription to Us Weekly, and being mistaken for a homosexual.
On July 22nd, 2008, I must say that my outlook has drastically improved, my quality of life has drastically improved, and Lord knows my career has drastically improved. I am living my dream, I have (some) money in the bank, I no longer drive a 1997 Saturn that occasionally explodes, and I haven't considered semen donation in one and a half years. I really have come a long way in a short time, and I can't complain. Some of you probably wish I'd complain on here more, as I used to, but wouldn't you rather I be happy? No? Wow, you're a bad person. Sorry I asked.
Now last year on the anniversary, I told you I was working on a "100 Favorite Movies" post to go with my "100 Favorite Songs" post. And then it never came. And guess what, it's still not finished. Expect it by Summer's End (isn't that a feminine hygiene product?). For serious, it's nearly ready, but I'm swamped. I've got a lot of things to do at work, and a short amount of time to do them. More on that soon, but I hope you all are catching up on your It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (try Hulu, iTunes, or DVD). The new season, complete with my television acting debut, kicks off September 18th.
I've scattered this entry with links from the good ole days of the blog. Won't you celebrate this special day by enjoying a few random entries from the archives on the left side of the page? Let me know what you find...
And hey, for those of you who have been here from the beginning, for those of you who pass this stuff on to your friends, for those of you who just came here for the first time today -- thanks.
Please don't kill this blog. It sometimes seems like the only HTML in
cyberspace that has a soul.
Don't you dare kill it...this thing is priceless.
By the way, can everyone see the links in this piece? I know they're faint,
but they are seeable, correct?
I pointed out the links' color issue to you over a year ago, you jerk!
I've never commented, been more of a hoverer (if that's a word). Your blog
has had me in tears cracking up more times than I can count. I've relayed
your stories, especially the one where you lost your cell phone and tried
to find it on google, as if they were my own. I've recommended your blog
to other people. So please keep writing it whatever it takes. I'd also
love to hear more of your every day life happenings now that your a big
wheeler dealer. I know it's a lot to ask but your fans want more.
Pat can't wait for its always sunny, it was one of my favorite shows before
you started working on it, so now that you are it may just be another show
to me. Just kidding I'm sure it's awesome.
I've always thought there was plenty of difference between the color of
your usual text and the color of your links. I could tell where the links
were no problem.
Kill the blog, I kill a puppy. Not even kidding. I need this!
Pat:
Pat... congratulations on the 3-year mark and please, please keep the good
times rolling on the site.
So I never read the "Ultimate Douchebag" story before, and I have to say
that your dad's comment is one of the greatest life lessons of all time.
Please keep the blog! I so look forward to your posts.... :-)
I came through Silly Pipe Dreams's blog after reading his worst date and he
recommended coming here. I have been hooked on your blog since and check
it daily and even added a link to it on my blog (though currently the link
reads "read his worst date story and you'll be hooked too"--hmm, I could
change that...) Obviously the humor is great but also the articulate
observations and reviews are spot on (well, except the C+ for Wall-E). I
intend to watch "...Sunny..." merely because you and Silly Pipe Dreams are
writers on it (well, that, and I grew up across the water in Trenton, NJ).
Along with the other commentors, I hope you continue your blog too.
Don't you dare kill the blog!!! You saved me from dying of boredom at my
old job, caused many people to think I was crazy (as I was often laughing
out loud hysterically while reading your blog at work/in public places),
and also got me fired from aforementioned job (ok maybe that last one is
not true). Your "Story of my Life" posts are probably the most entertaining
and hilarious reading I have ever come across (I don't think you ever
wrapped that up, did you? The worst date of all time...?) Anyways, we know
you are super busy and important, but plase don't stop posting! Is this
what you need? Periodic compliments and downright begging? Because I'll
give it to you! (that's what she said).
Uhh that wasn't me. I wasn't even near a computer when that was posted!
And, I don't think I've ever said/typed "Yey" in my life.
Hey man, happy anniversary. Glad I discovered you and your blog because
you make me laugh. Not many can do that for me. Don't stop blogging here
no matter how freaking important you become! We need you.
Funny as always Patrick -- don't ever stop. In fact, before you die,
download your conciousness into a sentient computer which can randomly
generate humorous blog entries for the edification of the punchline-seeking
masses. PLease.
Well, I came to this site for the first time in the middle of the "dark
time" you describe here - I found it because my dad's name is Patrick
Walsh......and I found you, and you made me laugh out of loud - I was so
glad that someone across the pond had a shite job like mine in London,
working with complete arseholes etc...and then I forgot about it until
today when I visted again and am SO SO THRILLED that you made it! DUDE!
Living your dream is about right! Well done, bravo, god bless all who sail
in you! Again you have made my day. Also, just so you know, I watched
"Batman Begins" with three mates - we all thought it sucked like a dyson so
you are certainly not alone! But you forgot to mention the totally sex free
performance from one Katie Holmes... will have to start watching you
programme now...saw it once but had had a few ales and thought it was a
fever dream...
Patrick, dude...I just discovered your blog. It's magic. Like
golden-ticket-to-the-wonka-factory magic. I am trying to pace myself, but I
keep reading entry after entry, and I don't know if I've ever laughed out
loud as much reading something online. Good stuff, man. Plus, you're doing
Always Sunny now (my favorite quote- "You haven't even begun to peak. But
you're going to peak today. And when you do, you're going to peak all over
everybody"- dennis), and that's sweet. They could do a whole episode just
on the Worst Date Ever.
Oh, and Pat- totally agree with your Marisa Tomei assessment in "Before the
Devil Knows Your Dead." Excellent movie, great writing, etc. etc. But damn
if I could barely prevent myself from pausing every time Tomei is on
screen. Like you, I never thought much about her one way or the other. But
she's about the hottest thing going after you see that. It's not just the
nudity- it's her whole demeanor.
Next time I see her in that Seinfeld rerun, well, let's say, I'll be
pulling for George more than ever.
You really need to kill this blog... it's just plain no good.