McEasy

I found myself in Las Vegas recently, and I decided to try a social experiment. Armed with the knowledge that every female in America is obsessed with Grey's Anatomy, I hatched a fairly ingenious plan. I would approach a girl, pretend to be a writer for Grey's Anatomy, and see what happened. As I am a writer and as I recently watched the first two seasons of the ABC medical drama, I figured my improv skills would make this foolproof. My friends scoffed, but here is what happened.

Note to all girlfriends involved: The goal here was not intercourse, just a way to pass the incredibly drunken time and have a little fun. Come on, it's Vegas, you're lucky we weren't balls deep in cocktail waitresses on a bed of cocaine.

Friend A approached a couple foxy gals sitting at the bar and struck up a conversation. I let him sit for a few minutes and then joined. Friend B soon followed suit. These girls were enjoying the attention, they seemed to like us and find us funny, they certainly weren't asking us to leave. But then Girl A asked me what I did for a living. (NOTE: This is key. Let her ask, it makes it feel so much less forced. Make her drag it out of you, and when it is revealed, act humble and embarassed).

ME: Me? Oh, I'm a writer.

GIRL A: (unimpressed) Oh really? What kind of writer?

ME: (nonchalantly) I write for Grey's Anatomy.

Girl B was talking to Friend B and literally spun around on her bar stool to face me, mouth open.

GIRLS A AND B: (Dams of fluid bursting forth from their skirts) WE LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY!!!!!!

This led to a series of rapid-fire questions regarding the future of the show, most of which I deflected with an "I'm not going to spoil it for you." They asked which shows I had written, I told them I was brought on this season and none of my episodes had aired. (Perfectly believable, they're only four shows in to the year). They asked about past episodes and I was able to roll with it. (Actual words out of my mouth: "I just never truly believed that Izzy was in love with Denny. Their relationship existed simply because of the high stress level of the situation. That always bothered me.") They got pretty deep into questions about the characters and aside from a brief bout of tension when I forgot George's name, I handled them like a pro. These girls were hanging on my every word, and they didn't doubt me for a second. Not one second.

After that bit of untruthiness, we were in. We hung out with them for a while, and the conversation never turned back to the show. I did not nail either of them (of course) but I sure as hell could have. Years of rejection gives you a pretty strong sense of when sex is in the air, and the air was thick with it.

I am not a single man, but many of you readers are. Use this information the next time you head out to the bar. Naturally, this will work better if you live in New York or LA, and of course this will work better if you have seen a lot of the show. And it probably couldn't hurt to find drunk or slightly dumb girls, but that's always the rule when trying to get laid, isn't it?

Obviously this isn't going to fly if you're looking for a long term relationship, since at some point she might ask "Hey, why are you driving a 1997 Saturn with the side-view mirror hanging off of it if you write for the #1 show on television?" But if you're looking for a fun night and don't mind a little deception (have you ever had a one night stand that didn't involve a little deception?), this is the ultimate foot in the door.

You're welcome.

tags: las vegas  mcdreamy  greys anatomy  greys  anatomy  girls  writer  writing  sex  greatest hits  

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