Master Cleanse, Day Four, Day Five, Day Six

Good luck vibes sent... incoming... Congrats on setting the cleanse goal and sticking with it. Scribe

Man, I saw SAW IV at the Esquire last night, and it was as raucous as could be expected. Sounds like you're going to the wrong theatre!

Not sure if you ever rocked the Esquire (in Clayton/Richmond Heights?) but it is renown for the commentary you'll sometimes get seeing a movie there. To give you a taste (in case you haven't been there or are otherwise unfamiliar with the beauty of the experience), a trailer for the forthcoming Martin Lawrence vehicle WELCOME HOME ROSCOE LAWRENCE played last night, to excessive hoots and hollers throughout the auditorium (I found hardly a thing funny, interesting, or exciting about the trailer, myself). It's the reason I try only to go there to see stuff like SAW IV--movies to which that kind of experience adds, rather than destroys.

Heck, I even found myself doing a little bit of commentary. Just saying "SAW!" really loud in a gruff voice at a particularly nasty moment can add worlds of enjoyment to this otherwise super-stupid series of films (which, in my opinion, are still some of the most fun around, just because of their complete inanity and ridiculum ). It's funny how so many of your Cinematical readers are trying to read into SAW films...they've apparently missed the point (or the way to go about enjoying them, and any other BS movie/franchise).

I will admit, though, that the chronology/ending of this one had me confused (in a bad way)...I definitely had to read the IMDb FAQ (now everything makes sense, though).

You can bet I'll be there for 5 and 6 (which have apparently already been announced) to get all of these crazy silly questions answered!

I'm sure the cleanse is going okay, but just so you know, you might not be sweating because you're dehydrated, and that's bad.

That's all. Take care and ~~~~~~good vibes~~~~~~~~~~~.

Something's wrong here as I am now actually considering The Cleanse. I think, mainly, I am just curious about how much is "in there". We rarely admit it, but aren't we all really obsessed with our own bodily functions?

Best of luck to you on your meeting. Vibes are on their way.

Scribe,

Thank you and thank you!

Rob,

I've been to the Esquire, but years ago and it always seemed a bit highbrow. Guess it's changed. I saw Boogie Nights there on the huge screen and it was incredible.

I saw Saw at the Magic Johnson, a theater known for being one of the loudest and most dangerous in the country. They have parking spots reserved for police! That's why I go see movies I know I'm not going to like there, it's an experience. I was there at Christmas and saw a woman/girl fight! During Saw -- dead silence.

I'm amazed you made sense of Saw IV, I couldn't and didn't particularly care.

Flick,

Thanks, and I've been drowning myself in water, so I don't feel dehydrated.

Nutsy,

Thanks, and definitely read a lot about it before you start...if you start. I'll tell you at the end if it was all worth it.

Wow, the Esquire as Highbrow? Yeah, that musta been forever ago. Like, pre-stadium seating. You do cite BOOGIE NIGHTS, though. The main theatre there does have a HUGE screen, which is very nice. Personally, I'm not a fan of stadium seating (or rather, I prefer fold-up low-back chairs to it) so it's usually a pretty good place to see something like THE MUMMY RETURNS (which I did as well) or SAW (insert any number here).

In one brief sentence (although you've made it clear you don't give a rat's ass): SAW III and SAW IV occur simultaneously, the corrupt cop-dude is corrupt all throughout SAW IV, and the autopsy of Jigsaw (and corrupt-cop-dude listening to the tape from his stomach) all occurs last in the chronology (but misleads you since it happens first in the movie). SNEAKY!

I pretty much love you for using the word "gymnasium". It's highly underutilized. Also, you have almost (but not quite) convinced me to try the master cleanse.

I really want to know what is wrong with people who enjoy Saw III, and presumably Saw IV. I loved the first Saw. I thought it was a neat idea. I thought the traps were cool. And I thought it rode the line of creepy and goofy really well (which I think all good horror movies must do). The second Saw was alright, and the traps were certainly neat, I just thought it needed a few stronger actors. However Saw III took the turn that all horror movies seem to take now a days. They all want to show me something truly realistically gruesome. I don't want to see brain surgery. I don't want to see realistic limbs being pulled from someone's body. I don't want to see scenes of intense realistic torture. The first Saw had basically no gore. Jump to Saw III and I was forced to see things that will change me for the worse forever. Someone who likes this shit please explain to me what is appealing about seeing things that are that grotesque. Also explain whether or not you have contacted a mental health professional.

Pat, you're probably running a kinda dangerous electrolyte imbalance right now. I hate to piss on your poo party, but Dr. Drew gets questions about these cleanses now and then and his answer is always the same: "what toxins? do you even know what you're talking about?" He's a medical doctor. I'm just sayin.' you're starting to sound a little like a scientologist.

Smooth songster James Taylor has a point, and one that I was thinking about on my way home just yesterday. You say that you're glad all sorts of nasty shit came out of you, but would you really know whether or not said nasty shit was actually NOT NASTY AT ALL? I mean, since none of us are medical doctors and really don't know for sure, isn't it possible that you're actually flushing out stuff you need, or at least that's good for you?

I mean, as (coincidentally) the opening sequence of SAW IV exhibited, our bodies are full of nasty-looking stuff. Some of that nasty-looking stuff is necessary (or at least beneficial) to our survival, though!

PW

Couple thoughts:

1) You 'never used recreational drugs' - really? Your loyal readers may recall some drug testing event that occurred when you were 'an intern at NBC' (that is - if you ever really worked there!)

During that post, you made reference to using them a few times, but a long time ago. C'mon Walsh - be consistent. Perhaps, you should type 'rarely used' recreational drugs. And don't get me started about all the beer that you have consumed over the years! (supposedly)

2) You did this cleanse after the night with Alan Alda... Hmmm.

Anna,

I like using "electronic mail" also. Wait until I'm done with the cleanse to start. If my liver explodes or something, you'll want to be privy to that information.

Mike,

I don't get it either, nor do I get the kids that go see these things. Little kids! Also, I think they all suck but Saw 2 is probably the worst of the lot.

Folk Sensation James Taylor,

Your warnings are coming far too late, I'm on day 7. I did a lot of research into this, it's not going to hurt me. You can always find a doctor to support any argument. I could probably find you one who doesn't hang out with Adam Corolla.

Rob,

Come sit in on a bathroom session at my apartment and tell me what's coming out is necessary for my survival!

JJ,

I said I've never TAKEN recreational drugs, and you don't TAKE marijuana. Still, I think roughly three times over 26 years is pretty clean. And beer is a recreational drug? I said I drink...

And yeah, there's a lot of Alda in me that needs to come out.

But that's the point, I wouldn't know one way or another, no matter how absolutely vomit-inducing it looked/smelled/felt/tasted, and neither do you.

I've read a lot into it, wouldn't be doing it if I hadn't.

Right-o, then, chap!

And might I add, cheerio!